The Book Thief By Markus Zusak | BOOK REVIEW

So about a week ago I finished The Book Theif by Markus Zusak and was completely lost for words. I loved the book so tenderly and finishing it and putting it down was a difficult task. The Book Thief was a long book and over the time I became attached and so finalising the book with a review seemed like a horrible task. I very rarely fall so in love with a book that I become emotionally attached and feel protective over it, but it happened with this story, one I first struggled to get into. I think the thing that really encouraged and inspired my reading was watching the film first. I saw it on Sky and knew that I had the book hiding away somewhere, from the last time I attempted to read it. So I sat down and fell in love with The Book Thief.

The story follows Liesel Meminger, a young girl who has been fostered into a small home during World War 2. She is German but her parents were communist and have been sent away to concentration camps. Her brother is also dead and she finds herself somewhat alone until her step father begins to teach her to read. We follow Liesel on her journeys as she grows, learns to read and even hides a Jewish man from the world. What I love about this book is that Liesel is being taught to read and we too are progressing on this journey with her as German words are flung in amongst the narrative. We too have to sit and learn words, much like Liesel, in order for us to progress and understand the story.

What engaged me so much with the storyline was the desperation of the Hubberman's (her foster parents) lives. Growing up we are taught about the war but always from the English perspective. Never have I really delved into what it was like on the German side and it was incredibly interesting to read (even if the characters weren't real). It just showed that not everyone was truly for what their leader was trying to do. Not everyone wanted to fight and not everyone wanted to treat other people like they were being treated. It was such a though provoking book throughout as it really brought to life the horrors of the war from a child's perspective.

The book is so beautifully written. Narrated by death (you're finding the last sentence quite strange now aren't you?). We follow death as he tells us the story of The Book Thief, of her life and the many times they had close encounters. As we near the end the story takes a tragic twist, one we have been prepared for and already know is coming but still hits your heart with a strong blow when you reach it. It doesn't seem fair at all but also is somewhat fitting to the rest of the book. Very few books leave you feeling "changed" but this book will now always have a very special place in my heart. I would highly recommend it, but take my advice and don't stay up all night reading it because the ending hurts so much more when you are tired. It was a very bittersweet goodbye to The Book Thief as the last page came to a close but I cannot wait to reach for it in years to come with fond memories and a warmth of nostalgia. An amazing book and I have to give it a 5 out of 5 stars, purely because it is so wonderful.

Lots of Love,
Rebecca
xxx

Life From The Outside of The Fish Bowl

When I feel really low, my brain tends to separate myself from the rest of the world around me. It's the most horrible feeling to be watching the world continue on around you but feel like you're only spectating, as though you're not actually meant to be there. It can be tough because life will be continuing on and I can be in the middle of it, moving, talking, breathing and yet still feel completely as though I am not actually existing like everyone else.

It feels like your watching the world in a fish bowl. That you are standing on the outside looking in whilst life continues to float along as normal. It can sometimes feel as though you are completely loosing the battle with your mind because you can't escape watching the fish and diving in to join them, instead you are trapped on the outside of the bowl and can't speak the same language.

It's like my body goes into auto-pilot in times like these. I can still be "there" as people would refer to it. I can have conversations and do things, but it doesn't feel like I have any control or choice about what I say or what I do. It can be scary at times like this because you're not sure if you can truly trust yourself to leave your safe spot that you retire to living in as much as humanly possible until you feel better.

It's like your brain enjoys the suffering and decay. You haven't washed for days, brushed your teeth this morning or gotten dressed. You hide away under your duvet and spectate the world moving around you as you feel empty and some what dead inside. You haven't used the bathroom for hours and yes you need to go, but the ache of your bladder is some what comforting, as though you deserve to be subjected to that pain. You haven't eaten at all all day, you're hungry but as the sun sets, you know you'll be forced to eat something by one of the fish that you have been watching and you dread even the thought of letting anything nourishing past your lips, because you deserve the pain.

At times like these it's so easy to wish that you could just disappear, You pray (regardless of the fact that your not religious) that your bed will swallow you up into extinction. It never does and you continue to lay there with your own mind. The dangerous and horrible experience. Your brain is currently telling you to "drop the act, no one is going to believe you" but you can't escape and suddenly you feel like you're drowning. Like you're actually the fish in the bowl and yet your not equipped for that life. You try to breath but it's difficult and slow and you just wish the world would stop so that you could get off.

It doesn't. And the world continues, as normal. You can watch for a while but one day you will be forced to slot yourself back into place and join life once more.

The Debate of Book VS Film

I don't think I need to explain that I'm a bookworm, I think I've made that one pretty clear (I hope) but something bothers me about the book vs film debate. Yes, I have been one of those people so devout to a book that the idea of someone deciding to watch the film first just seemed ridiculous and appalling. But I recently decided to take the plunge and watch The Book Thief before I read the book. Admittedly I was struggling to get into it and have picked it up and put it down numerous times. But watching the film has inspired me to pick up the book once more and give it a go.

Surely if the film inspires you to read the book and vise-versa then it's not that bad? I was thinking about it and surely it's not as bad as we can all make it out to be. Admit it you know someone or are the person that audibly gasps when people have said that they've watched the film but not read the book? Say that you've not read the books but love the films to any Harry Potter fan and they will fall to the ground in horror, sobbing as they quietly and repeatedly whisper "muggle" under their breath.
You think I'm being dramatic? Afraid not.

I love books and films pretty much equally and to me they inspire my creativity in different ways. Books make me want to sit down and type out my inner most thoughts where as films makes me want to get up and go out with my camera and see what I can do. I'm sure i'm not the only one that get's the same sort of buzz from books and films but any way of sparking people's interest, enthusiasm and creativity should be praised and not shunned because they "haven't read the book" or "seen the film". Not everyone can read, we're not all lucky enough to have an education that has taught us to understand the majority of words that we are reading. It's the same with films, not everyone is able to witness the beauty of a film with sound and be able to get the same feeling from the musical pieces in the background or feel moved by a speech, but then they can pick up a book and read that speech for themselves. We're not all lucky enough to be able to enjoy both films and books.

I get very protective when my favourite books are made into films. I had read The Fault in Our Stars EIGHT times before I saw the film and before that I had countless sleepless nights that my little world in my head wouldn't reach the same expectations on screen (it did however and I love the film!). It suddenly didn't feel like "mine" anymore and appeared to feel like a corporate job. I hated the thought of people who hadn't read the book going and seeing the film to the point where I actually had a breakdown over it. But looking back I was so stupid to think that, because surely my little secret, my favourite book has become popular with a whole new audience.

I love the difference that films and books have, before you say "duh" at me, I know, but let me explain. Books make us work a little harder to create a world and a story inside our heads. We have to imagine how each character looks by the extensive vocabulary of the authors. This means that each book, regardless to how many times it has been read globally, is unique to each individual reader, because each one of us will imagine what the story looks like completely differently. Films however have the use of lighting, sound, mise-en-scene (fancy word for hair and make up, props, etc.) and editing. Film makers can create the world that we are thrown in to, and their talent on doing so decides whether or not we are truly immersed in the world. Of course we can all view these differently too as not all of us like the same films, you'd never be able to get me into a horror movie but on the other hand I might not get you to sit and watch The Fault In Our Stars with me.

I know that people can fall in love with books so devoutly that watching the film first could be considered a sin. But surely if the film inspires the viewer to go and read the book after, that's not so  bad, is it? I can list numerous films I saw before reading their books (The Perks of Being a Wallflower, ALL THE HARRY POTTER FILMS *audible gasp*, The Book Thief...) and I have rushed instantly to the book shelf and dived into the words on the page. So it's not really about what's considered right or wrong, but surely the love that we have for either the book, film or both.

Lots of Love,
Rebecca
xxx

"I Don't Like To Use The 'D' Word"

Hi Folks,
So firstly before things begin, I would like to thank you all for helping me to reach 1000 views on this blog, when I started this project a few months ago I couldn't even dream of reaching that total but hopefully we can continue on!

I'm guessing you've been a bit bemused by the title of this post so I thought I would share a recent story of mine with you. I'm not stranger to talking about my mental health issues, it's a big part of my life and has helped shape me into who I am so I rarely shy away from talking to people about things. This comes with its pro's and con's of course and overtime one can compile a long list of things you probably shouldn't say to people with mental health issues. I struggled for months with my illnesses before telling anyone, purely because I was terrified of the repercussions of putting my hands up and admitting that there was something wrong with me.

People can take this information very differently, some will be completely supportive, some will fade away within the next few weeks (thinking they are doing it subtly but failing miserably to "fade"), and others won't know what to make of it all and will ask lots of questions. Personally the people that ask the questions tend to be more sincere and understanding with the relationship afterwards as they can understand you and your illness a whole lot better than they did before. I don't mind answering the questions because to me it is helping break the "stigma" around mental health by raising awareness.

However I had the pleasure of a uni interview the other day where all the tutor wanted to talk about was my mental health issues and not my passion for the subject. Yes my mental health is a big part of my life but it does not define me as a person and that was the way the interview was heading. I questions such as "how would you cope being so far away from home?" to "how would your illness affect your studies?", I was very honest and had told her that I had not let everything stop me in the past, I always managed to get coursework in before the deadline and was always in good communication with my tutor. I was already beginning to feel a little unsure about where the interview was heading. Then I made a fatal error, I uttered the sentence "when I feel low.", this always get's people asking what I mean by "low.

So I explained that when I get depressed I tend to not get out of bed as I psychically struggle to pull together the willpower to move. The lady interviewing me audibly gasped as uttered "I don't like to use the D word", I felt completely degraded and as though I wasn't worthy to be at that uni by things that she was saying to me. It can be hard to go from admiring someone for their work to instantly feeling stereotyped by my illness. It's tough enough as it is being a young adult and suffering from mental illness without people judging you because of it.

One day, I hope we can live in a world where people with any illness do not have to face the stigma around it.
Lots of Love,
Rebecca
xxx

Being Let Down By Your First Choice Uni

Hi there folks!

I apologise about the lack of posts in the past few weeks but I have been a bit snowed under with university interviews. As you can probably tell by the title of this post that's what I'm going to be talking about today (thank god, I didn't send them a link to my blog!). I have literally searched the country looking for the "perfect uni" and some months ago, I thought I had found it and couldn't wait to share my news with you all. You can go read that here: Finding "The One"

I thought I had found the perfect university that would help me grow in my knowledge and love for radio. Unfortunately I was completely naive to the fact that it was an open day, THEY WERE TRYING TO LOOK GOOD! I had fallen in love with the university and was finally excited to leave my home and move 166 miles away from home. Sadly, the interview process brought to light the true side to the university and it wasn't as perfect and wonderful as I had once viewed it. It was unorganised, unwelcoming and disappointing. I had been let down by my first choice university that instead of wanting to discuss my passion for radio, wanted to talk about my mental illnesses and thereafter left me feeling quite conscious about myself.

Being let down by your first choice uni can be a bit terrifying and can leave you feeling a little lost if you haven't prepared yourself. Panicking will get you nowhere. Hopefully you have looked at other universities and also applied for those. In my case I had a very strong second choice that I loved so much that it was on equal ground before I went to my first choice interview, so when that fell through I had a safety net to fall back on that I was still extremely happy with. But if you had had your heart set on just one university and don't have a safety net, there is no need to panic, You still have time to look and apply at universities. There is this beautiful thing called clearing where universities that still have places will consider you for their course. So get researching, attend open days and then prepare yourself for clearing!

I'm still extremely excited to be going to Staffordshire University in September as I know that the teachers are super passionate about their subject and care about me so much already. This university isn't going to judge me for my illnesses, they're not going to let it hinder my education and are going to take great care of me. I cannot wait!

Lots of Love,

Rebecca 

xxx