#MedsWorkedForMe

I was just scrolling down Twitter when I saw that '#MedsWorkedForMe' is trending on twitter. A lot of public voices have recently been discussing the use of medication to treat mental health disorders and I have also been hearing these conversations seeping into my daily life. Over the last month, I've felt ashamed for having to take medication to make sure that my mental health stayed stable and that I didn't run into any issues. It's been tough and I've wanted to hide and at points I've hated these little tablets and how reliant I am on them for keeping me alive.

I started taking medications at 17, just after my first suicide attempt. I was super poorly and the doctors were rushing to find a solution that would have me safe as quickly as they could make it happen. I was diagnosed with depression, OCD and panic attacks and anxiety and it was a lot of things going on in my brain. Admittedly the first year of taking medications was hell. The doctors worked hard to finds medications that would work for me and at points I was getting poorlier. I was missing a lot of time out of college, I didn't want to get out of bed and I was scared about what my future would hold.

Then I found the golden trio of meds that helped me. I was put on Fluoxetine, Melatonin and Quetiapine and although it was a lot, I was feeling brighter and more positive about my future. I tried CBT for a while and I didn't find that that helped me. It was the medication that made the scary voices inside my head disappear. I had emergency Diazepam for the panic attacks and it finally meant that I could go outside and do things normally like everyone else.

I spoke openly about coming off of the Fluoxetine and how I feel more stable than ever but I do still take the melatonin and quetiapine at night to help me sleep. If I didn't, I wouldn't sleep for days, I become manic and spaced out and the voices inside my head get louder. I might still be reliant on medication but without them I wouldn't be alive. They saved me when I had hit rock bottom and I don't think I would have managed half of what I have done without the help that they have given me.

I hate that there is still so much stigma surrounding medications, that anti-depressants are called 'Happy Pills', that it's still so difficult to discuss mental health issues. I'm extremely lucky to have amazing family and friends who support me and my choices, who are there to talk to me when I feel alone. I'm grateful to my friends who stick by me when I am away from home at uni and make it so easy to talk openly about what is happening inside my head. I feel so proud to see this trending on twitter today, knowing that it will hopefully help to break some stigma. There is no shame in taking medications and I know that without them I wouldn't the person I am today.

#MedsWorkedForMe

Rebecca
xxx