I'm Not Stupid...

Mental health services in the uk for young people are appalling. I've needed help from them since I was 17 years old and it's not been the easiest of journeys. I've fallen through the net of psychologists multiple times, I get forgotten and then not checked up on and god know what would have happened if I didn't have such a caring supportive safety net to fall on to. It shouldn't take me trying multiple different numbers just to get a hold of my psychologists because they have forgotten to see me for nearly a year, it should be them making sure that the patients that they look after are okay. 

It is ridiculous how much stigma still falls in the mental health services that I have dealt with. Gp's treat me like I don't have a clue what medication I have been taking for the past two years, tell me "don't take them all at once" jokingly after I've told them I've been feeling suicidal. They think they know how to handle mental health issues when really, I just feel like I'm being judged for the illnesses I have and being told my psychologist, who I have seen for years more then our 10 minute GP meeting has been giving me the wrong medication.

I get treated like I know nothing about the illnesses I have. That I chose to remain uneducated about the conditions that plague my every day life, when in fact for the first three months of my diagnosis, I was up until ridiculous hours each night learning as much as I can in the hopes that I could fix myself and get rid of this horrible extra baggage that I have to live with. 

I call a mental health service for help and get talked to as though I am a toddler who is still learning words. Just because I'm asking for an appointment at your service does not mean that you instantly assume that because of my mental health issues I am stupid. I am not stupid. Yes I may have multiple conditions to my name, but I can still understand you and what you are saying. You. Don't. Have. To. Talk. Like. This. 

My illnesses do not make me stupid. Yes sometimes, they may make it harder for me to make rational decisions or to control my thoughts but I have always been able to understand what you are saying to me. I understand a lot more about all of this then you would think, because for years this has been my life and I was determined to try and make myself better, the one thing I falsely hoped would work. 

I know I might ramble on the phone or panic and over explain things, but patience is key and when you are working in a mental health service you should understand that. Phone calls are not easy with a panic and anxiety disorder. You should see the amount of notes I have laid out in front of me, just so I can try and talk normally to you. It's not easy for me to do it but I wanted to be treated as normally as possible, not as though I understand nothing.

Don't judge people by their mental health issues, you never know what they are going through at any given moment.