Advice For People Dealing With Someone With Mental Health Issues

Hi Folks, I'm on week 3 of a mental breakdown and I've had some inspiration on writing this blog post. It's not a personal attack on anyone, more things I have learnt over the last few years as I have dealt with various people during my periods of depression.

1. Just Breath:

One thing that doesn't really help when having a panic attack is someone panickingly telling you to breath, when you feel like you can't breath. When having a panic attack the last thing you need is someone around you panicking too, it just doesn't help at all. Please try not to shout at them to breath as you freak out and can't quite cope yourself with what is happening, I know it's scary for you guys too but it doesn't help us when we're panicking. My mum has the perfect tactic for my panic attacks when she is with me, she'll take my hand and give it a squeeze, it might seem like a weird little gesture but just knowing I have the comfort of my mum there and that it will be okay helps the process of beginning to calm down. This is maybe when the option "take slow deep breaths" calmly will then work wonders because the alarm bells in our brains aren't still going at full power. 

2. Never Give Up: 

You'd be surprised how many people will tell you that they're always there for you and yet shy away when you begin to even feel slightly like a breakdown is coming on, let alone when you've hit rock bottom and all you need is someone to just rant at.  I know it can be tough and scary to see someone you love feeling so low but ignoring the situation and  not being there for them when they need you is a horrible thing to do. It leaves them feeling alone and abandoned as they struggle to deal with how they are feeling. It makes them begin to feel like a burden to you, like they can't open up to you because you'll leave and then they're just left all alone.

3. "Just Get Over It":

Telling someone with mental health issues to "just get over it" is possibly one of the most dangerous things you can tell someone when they are feeling poorly. Do you think that if we could "just get over it" we would have already chosen to take that path? We don't feel like this because it's fun and we're seeking attention and sympathy. We don't have a choice in how our brain dictates our emotions, we surprisingly don't want to constantly feel like this. 

4. We Can't "Just Get Out Of Bed": 

I've learnt over the years that not being able to get out of bed when you're feeling extremely depressed is completely normal. We're not being lazy, we physically cannot get out of bed. It's something that is incredibly hard to explain to people that do not suffer with depression but when you're feeling so low you lose all sense of motivation. Your body literally doesn't not want to move, you can see no point of getting out of you cave of safety and entering the world around you. It's much safer sometimes to just hide away in bed until the storm has past. 

5. It's Not Your Fault:

Admittedly yes, when I've felt bad I have frustratingly blamed people for making me feel like this. But my biggest piece of advice to someone looking after someone with mental illness is that it's not your fault. It never was your fault at all. Although it doesn't get taken as seriously sometimes, it's a disability that we were born with. Sometimes it might get a little tough and scary but please know that we will always love you unconditionally, even when we're saying things that hurt, we don't mean them and we love you for sticking with us.

Lot's of Love,

Rebecca

xxx